Posts Tagged With: humor
“Hello? Yes it’s true! It’s amazing – they just do exactly what you tell them to! It’s like they understand us. Mine’s got two legs so I guess that makes him a butler… or chauffeur if we’re in the limo. Yes…three meals a day and central heating. Fabulous. Ok – gotta go, he’s coming! T’ra!”
It seems like the recent copyright declaration circulating on Facebook is being dismissed as a hoax. Despite a spelling mistake (it’s the Berne Convention and it exists) it’s actually quite sound. Any kind of copyright attached to your work can stand up in court. In theory you can simply add a © and you’re home and dry, but you also need to add your name and the year your photo, video or music originated. The fear that Facebook could steal your content is a moot point: if your privacy settings are ‘Public’ then you don’t have much cover having agreed to Facebook terms when you set up your account. Custom privacy settings can protect your content, but a fact can’t be copyrighted, so any comments or text that you post can be quoted and passed to third parties such as advertisers.
There are two important points to consider here. Firstly, once you upload something to the internet the genie is well and truly out of the bottle: you may still own your work but you can’t control it’s distribution. You can apply for removal, but the word ‘viral’ means exactly what it says on the tin. A Google Image search is a great way to see who is using your images, but you might need to send a lot of ‘cease and desist’ notices.
Secondly, everything has a digital footprint, which means almost every kind of file can be dated and traced to an IP address. So if your work is stolen, the chances are you will eventually emerge as the rightful owner. Worth bearing in mind if you generate any kind of content which can be commercially exploited. Mr. Zuckerberg has saved a lot of money through corporate tax loop-holes in the UK (it could be one of the reasons for the recession, others being Apple, Starbucks, Tesco and Vodafone) and the last thing he needs is to be faced by a class action. From thousands of people.
On Halloween I became possessed by Mr. Jolly, a rather animated character of insane grin and wobbly top hat. Everywhere Mr. Jolly went, he was greeted by laughter and smiles and people took his photograph so many times that he can’t remember how famous he is. Mr. Jolly and his friend The Eye Monster entertained and frightened the revellers in Manchester City, dancing and drinking vodka. The over-medicated screamed and ran away, but in general, a good night was had by all!
Patsy and Eddie speak for the nation!
In this week’s excellent Olympic Games Special, Patsy Stone and Edina Monsoon eloquently voiced the real feelings of the British people about the biggest event in the history of London. Yes there’s a lot of flag-waving and it’s great for tourism, but it’s a whole different ball game when you actually live here.
Eddie and Patsy present their pre-Games make-over plans to Saffy.
Eddie “We’re gonna be liposuctioned, lasered and lifted, darling. I’m going to be wearing my buttocks as a head rest by the time…”
Saffy “Well you better hurry up because it starts this week.”
Saffy “The Olympics.”
Eddie “What? No! [to Patsy] Darling did you know it started this week?”
Eddie “[panicking] The…running-the Olympics!”
Saffy “Oh my god! How could you have missed it? Even coming from the airport – it’s everywhere!”
Eddie “Yeah, darling, it’s been ‘everywhere’ for FIVE BLOODY YEARS, hasn’t it? Excuse me if I missed that it actually started! It’s been like tinnitus!”
Patsy and Eddie find themselves in the Olympic Stadium just days before the big day.
Patsy “It’s empty.”
Eddie “That’s cos nobody could get tickets, isn’t it darling?”
Perhaps the best quote of all is Eddie’s Mother, staring bemused at some unused tickets…
Mother “I don’t see why anyone would actually want to be there when they can watch it in comfort on the good old Auntie Beeb.”
You can watch this episode on the Dear Old Auntie Beeb here and also some big sporting events which are happening this weekend…