There was a crooked man, and he walked a crooked mile.
He found a crooked sixpence upon a crooked stile.
He bought a crooked cat, which caught a crooked mouse,
And they all lived together in a little crooked house.
Look, everyone! Pretty new things! Anything to distract you from the worst government in British history. Should I submit my George Osborne update for the new one pound coin to The Royal Mint?